We all know how annoying the continually meowing cat is...what do they WANT?!!! It's a reaction that can happen in particular when we've done all the things that we think they need. But nope, we obviously haven't. And that's the first thing to remember. Our cat hasn't just gone mental, or decided to be a pain. Meowing at us means they need something from us. And we need to adjust our frustration to investigation.
Most of us probably tick off a normal list of things the cat would want...but sometimes we need to expand that list, and remember the expanded set when the next occasion arises. That's the hard bit, as it is all too easy to react without thinking, and with frustration.
Today Kato was telling husband-man something while I was cooking. Although the meowing wasn't at me, my mind was pretty much doing the same loop as husband-man's:
-We've just had a walk (for an hour)
-We just had plays outside with the wand
-You've had treats
-Mummy's put out your dinner
....So what can you need???!!
These are the times when we have to think beyond the 'list' of usual things. As it turned out, Kato wanted some loves. This is how husband-man came to that conclusion: he noticed Kato ate the treats given to him by hand, but not his food. So he got down, and tried hand-feeding. Kato liked that and ate. But that wasn't all he wanted, and Kato kept following husband man, meowing and BLINKING at him. Husband-man asked 'Do you want a cuddle?' and tried picking him up. Well, Kato did! And that is highly unusual for Kato, so obviously it wasn't on our normal list! Maybe he needed the loves after being denied attention earlier in the morning when husband-man said 'no' to his walk. But the real communication clue that we hadn't twigged to, was the cat-kisses. Normally, when Kato asks for something on the usual list of things, he meows and maybe takes us towards the thing. Without the kisses. So we must remember this thing and the variation in his communication. How smart is our big boy?!
There are of course, the occasions when we do know what our cat is telling us, but we have to say 'no'. We also had that happen today, again with Kato. His long, mournful, and increasingly urgent meows were all about going for a walk. It was sunny outside, and it was walk time, except we don't walk at that time on Sundays - we walk after church. When I have to say 'no' to the needed thing, I get a better reception if I give it with love, a scritch or cuddle depending on what they will accept, and ...an explanation. Sounds daft, but I think just taking the time to give them undivided attention, down on their level, and speaking lovingly helps our cat. They know, that just as earnestly as they are telling us something, we are trying to communicate with them. In my experience, the meowing won't completely stop, but it won't be so frantic, and they may leave off for a time, or be able to have something given as a substitute.
Now, as I described, husband-man was very good at patiently investigating Kato's unknown request. But with a 'no' situation, I can definitely say my way is MUCH better than his tendencies. Husband-man gets aggravated, raises his voice a little, and keeps saying 'Well you can't have it. We can't always have what we want. That's life.' as he stomps around doing things. There's aggravation and frustration swirling around the house. And there's no pause of attention for our cat. Often, that's when Kato will come and try his request with me. He gets a gentler reaction, and gives a gentler request - for example with lots of rubbing up against me.
But I must confess, the frustrated response is not an unknown for me either! So I need to remember to be patient and gentle. This way, at the very least, helps us to stop feeling aggravated, and gives us much pleasanter emotions to experience...calm is always good!
Most of us probably tick off a normal list of things the cat would want...but sometimes we need to expand that list, and remember the expanded set when the next occasion arises. That's the hard bit, as it is all too easy to react without thinking, and with frustration.
Today Kato was telling husband-man something while I was cooking. Although the meowing wasn't at me, my mind was pretty much doing the same loop as husband-man's:
-We've just had a walk (for an hour)
-We just had plays outside with the wand
-You've had treats
-Mummy's put out your dinner
....So what can you need???!!
These are the times when we have to think beyond the 'list' of usual things. As it turned out, Kato wanted some loves. This is how husband-man came to that conclusion: he noticed Kato ate the treats given to him by hand, but not his food. So he got down, and tried hand-feeding. Kato liked that and ate. But that wasn't all he wanted, and Kato kept following husband man, meowing and BLINKING at him. Husband-man asked 'Do you want a cuddle?' and tried picking him up. Well, Kato did! And that is highly unusual for Kato, so obviously it wasn't on our normal list! Maybe he needed the loves after being denied attention earlier in the morning when husband-man said 'no' to his walk. But the real communication clue that we hadn't twigged to, was the cat-kisses. Normally, when Kato asks for something on the usual list of things, he meows and maybe takes us towards the thing. Without the kisses. So we must remember this thing and the variation in his communication. How smart is our big boy?!
There are of course, the occasions when we do know what our cat is telling us, but we have to say 'no'. We also had that happen today, again with Kato. His long, mournful, and increasingly urgent meows were all about going for a walk. It was sunny outside, and it was walk time, except we don't walk at that time on Sundays - we walk after church. When I have to say 'no' to the needed thing, I get a better reception if I give it with love, a scritch or cuddle depending on what they will accept, and ...an explanation. Sounds daft, but I think just taking the time to give them undivided attention, down on their level, and speaking lovingly helps our cat. They know, that just as earnestly as they are telling us something, we are trying to communicate with them. In my experience, the meowing won't completely stop, but it won't be so frantic, and they may leave off for a time, or be able to have something given as a substitute.
Now, as I described, husband-man was very good at patiently investigating Kato's unknown request. But with a 'no' situation, I can definitely say my way is MUCH better than his tendencies. Husband-man gets aggravated, raises his voice a little, and keeps saying 'Well you can't have it. We can't always have what we want. That's life.' as he stomps around doing things. There's aggravation and frustration swirling around the house. And there's no pause of attention for our cat. Often, that's when Kato will come and try his request with me. He gets a gentler reaction, and gives a gentler request - for example with lots of rubbing up against me.
But I must confess, the frustrated response is not an unknown for me either! So I need to remember to be patient and gentle. This way, at the very least, helps us to stop feeling aggravated, and gives us much pleasanter emotions to experience...calm is always good!